No we can't just up and go out like you

I really feel like I have to explain to some people out there some things about why we can't go out like you do anymore or why we can't just up and visit without kids. (well kid) For all of my understanding people out there it's not directed at you. I am just hoping that maybe someone will read this and understand a little better, or not. It's bugging me enough for me to say something though.
Yes, I have a 15 year old son, but he is not like any other kid. He is disabled, in a wheelchair, unable to get out of bed or to care for himself. I do not have a sitter I can leave him with here at the house, I can't afford to have the kind of sitter he would need. He is a very untrusting child who isn't going to just trust any person that comes into our house to care for him. Our CNA had been coming here for almost a year before he trusted her enough to help me shower him.

So to just hire someone out of the blue to come care for him, put him on his toilet chair if he has to poop or wipe his butt, it's just not that easy. I don't just trust anyone to care for him either and it's about his comfort and mine. If he doesn't trust that person believe me, I may as well stay home. The only time that Greg and I get out to do something together is pretty much when we are in Arizona visiting my mom. He does stay home if we're running to the store or something, but that is if he wants to stay home and as long as it's during the day.

If we go to visit people I have to make sure that we'll be able to get him and his wheelchair in, that there is somewhere that he can go to get off of his butt because he can't sit for hours at a time in his push chair, and that he and his chair are not crowding their house. I mean really, put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if you're blocking people getting around the house and there's nothing you can do about it? Especially if you don't know any of these people? How about if your butt starts hurting and you have to get off of it? He usually gets in bed to take the pressure off or if we're lucky there is a chair or something so he can get off of his butt.

His legs are bent almost 90 degrees and do not straighten out so that causes for issues with him being able to just sit in a chair and be comfortable. If he has to poop when we are out or at someone else's house this can cause issues as well. It isn't like just putting him on the toilet either. I mean here it is because he has his poop chair that you set him on and wheel him over the toilet. When we are at someone else's house, you have to get him settled on the toilet and hold him there while he goes. It's not impossible because believe me, we've had to do it, but you can see where it causes for him to feel uncomfortable.
A lot of care goes into him and his comfort when we are at home and it doesn't end when we go somewhere else is pretty much my point here. It's difficult to find people that can do the kind of care he needs for us to go out and that's why we don't. But I do also want some to know that just because you have a strong teenager doesn't mean that I or Zak are going to be comfortable with them coming over to do any care for him without knowing them. They have to be able to use his lift, to put him on the toilet chair, to make sure he can go, to wipe his butt, and redress him. In other words, it is a bit different from regular babysitting.
It's different when it's a baby compared to an almost 6 foot tall 15 year old who can't walk. Really, it is. I know you mean well, but when you constantly ask us to come out, invite us to adult only functions, or wonder why we can't just come up to denver, it really depresses and pisses me off. If you truly are a friend, and you pay attention, you know why we can't. (I mean we can individually, just not together.)