I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that

My son says after he hears me holler "You sliced my butt with your razor!" Yeah to you all it's funny but I'm the one sitting here with a sore butt cheek that has a razor slice on it because my shower is not big enough for two people. Well now I have to explain because I can't imagine what some of you are thinking...well I can and that's why I'm explaining. =o)

Greg was at the back of the shower shaving and I was under the water washing my hair. When he was done shaving his face he needed to get under the water, so I turned sideways to let him pass and his razor raked across my rear. At first I thought it had just be the handle end of the razor that did it, until my cheek started bleeding.

So yeah, I yelled out that he sliced my butt with his razor, to which my son yelled that he was going to pretend he didn't hear that. That's what happens when your kid's room is right next to the bathroom that has a shower curtain for the door, he can hear everything. (the shower curtain is because Zak's bathchair can't fit through the narrow bathroom doorway with the door on)

Oh my aching butt...cheek.

My Father

Oh where to begin with my father? I can safely say that my father has given me examples over my life as to how to never treat your children, how the phone works both ways but only in my case and not his. I've learned that your children are never as important as your girlfriends, that it is impossible to have a relationship with your kids and with a significant other.

You would think that having two children, one being disabled that he would have grown up at one point in time, no, strike that, that he would have been a parent at one point in time. You would think that he'd want to see his son more, the one that I was told wouldn't live forever and so I should do as much with him because of this.

I didn't realize that this meant that I was his second parent because he didn't have one. Once my parents got divorced when I was 12, I became the other parent. Oh my father would take us here and there but, it was never steady. I mean, that was the one thing we could count on with him, that it would be few visits.Whenever he didn't have a girlfriend he would be that dad. You know, the one that would pick you up when he was supposed to, the one that spent time with you. But it never lasted, and we were back to square one. I never expected much from my father, that way I would never be disappointed when it didn't happen.

Over the years I have let my father know my feelings, he has wanted to sit down and discuss it for years but it never ends up that way. He can't just talk about getting over this and onto a new relationship with me and his grandson. He can never accept anything I say, it's all stuff my mother has put in my head.

And this is why we have no relationship, because no matter how hard I try to look past all things he's done and start fresh, I find that he loves to live in the past. He thinks that he was this wonderfully supportive father and he was far from it. I was never good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, my hair long enough, my grades, you name it. I struggle to this day with my weight and thinking I am pretty enough. I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I walk by and I'll think, who is that beautiful woman?

And then I hear, "Your hair is too short, how can you be beautiful with that hair, and you know you can loose a few around your middle. You're not getting any younger you know." Then this little voice in my head says "FUCK YOU! I am beautiful, and my body is just imperfect enough to be perfect for me."

Thank God I found that voice, and I am so thankful to be blessed with a mother who will never let me think that way, and a man that will never let me forget how beautiful I am to him. Oh yeah, and a son that tells everyone he knows that his mom used to be a Supergirl, and now she's SuperMom. To those out friends out there we have that we have met or not, I am so very thankful for you all and your sharing as well. As I read other blogs I am reminded that I am not alone. Thank you.

Why the land of duh you ask?

I love my kids, I really do because they do so many things that make you want to say DUH! It's not just the kids all the time, but most of the time. I told them I was thinking of writing a book and it would be called In the land of duh my children rule! We all have duh moments but my kids just seem to have A LOT of them.

I will blog these moments, along with mine of course and others. Like the time when Chase used germ stuff as aftershave, when Zak said he was so excited that if he was a dog he'd pee himself, and when Lauryn covered the toilet with toilet paper when I asked her to put the tp on the top of the toilet. Oh yes, there are many more funny things like these that I will put out there for you all to read.

It's not always going to be funny though, but I'm pretty sure there will be some kind of duh moment in each one somewhere.

ABC's of me

A - Age: 35

B - Bed size: queen

C - Chore you hate: cleaning the toilet.......ick

D - Dog's name: Don't have a dog

E - Essential start-your-day item: Hm, morning kiss goodbye from Greg, Zak buzzing me and the cats molesting my legs

F - Favorite color: Pink

G - Gold or Silver: Silver

H - Height: 5'7 1/2 (yeah gotta have that half!)

I - Instruments you play/played: Guitar, violin, piano

J - Job title: Domestic Goddess, mom, nurse, driver, you name it!

K - Kid(s): Zakary 14, Greg's kids Chase 11 and Lauryn 10

L - Living arrangements: Happily unmarried with children

M - Mom's name: Janet

N - Nicknames: Nae Nae, Mom, Renny, Miss Marie, Shorts (Don't you even!)

O - Overnight hospital stay: Twice for me, many times with Zak

P - Pet Peeve: Someone chewing with their mouth open so you can see ALL they are eating!

Q - Quote from a movie: "What do we get for 10 dollars?" "Everything you want baby." "Everything?" "Everything!" Full Metal Jacket

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: Tommar (deceased)

T - Time you wake up: This is hinting at the fact that you actually have to sleep isn't it?

U- Underwear: Boyshorts, cute and girlie

V- Vegetable you dislike: brussel sprouts Ick!

W - Ways/Reasons you run late: Greg, kids, cats, me....I inherited some lateness trait from my family it seems =o)

X - X-rays you've had: Knee, back, abdomen, ankle

Y - Yummy food you make: All of my food is yummy! (Mexican or Italian)

Z - Zoo favorite: Feeding the giraffes and getting licked with that crazy tongue they have!